*//BLOG~~about my life...
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
HELLO. omg..seems like im going mad about BEN le!! from star idol...so cute lor he!! HAHAh. suddenly feel like going media again...hahaha. siaox liao...hehe. anyway, also from star idol, called albert...he's quite funny? lame? ok no offence but he damn weird la...i email him ask him add me and guess what he reply me back?
this is what he say: you take care, good nite..tired gtg ZZzzz kekee
gosh....so out of topic? hahaha.
schools these few days are damn bored...signxx...
IM LOOKING FOR A JOB!
hahahaha!!! me a 13 yr old gal needs a JOB!! anyone offering??!!! haiz...hahaa. need $$!!!!
OH YEA...i know wang zi last ep le!! HEHE. so happy!! nice ending sia! lolx...dang0u of coz end up with tianyu lor...keke...ziqian with yunxi...so many ppl loves this show now...
even wanjin the eng eng type de also in love with it...hahaha. isn't that GOOD???!!! lolx..
okok...im seriously like leaving mg..and i dunno why im not very sad...hahaha. dunno leh! so funny lor! but sad too la...of coz...coz should be going to NORMAL stream?? signx...anyway, is not end of the world right?! if i can continue sec2 and go a normal stream, i don't mind la of coz..haha i no way wanna re take sec1 lor!! as in retain....not embarrassed...just that...i very scared later nv do well again then gotta RETAIN ANOTHER year...hahaa. anyway, don't talk it about la...i everyday so fan now...ARGH.
but i will name afew ppl who i miss...MARIKO and CHARMAINE chen. hahah. maybe lesley too? lolx..although this yr we not very close liao...lolx...but still a nice friend? (: hahaha. ok should be that all? maybe.....clare....kas....i dunno?!?! HAHA.
anyway, i will just DIE tml and fri lor...lolx... hAhaHA!!
ytd night was so shiok...didn't eat dinner...came back home from buying disc and straight away jumped onto my bed and had a good sleep...until this morning...5.45am...hahaha. it was really nice sia....lolx...
sth is fishy....really....don't tell me that really is like that....i really hope not what i think ok...i hope that im just thinking to much? really.....my life....why izzit so tong ku for me!! MY LIFE. really huh....i dunno what bad deads did i done in my past life??!!! ok. YES. i must admit...i do of coz have happy times and times that ppl makes me happy....my parents...being good to me...caring...give me what i wanna as they always trys their best to...yes...im pleased with that...
and now.... izzit my fault that im the one?!?!! m i the one that is like that??!!! PLEASE!!! i NEED to know my negative pts lor...but im allowed to say sth??!! some ppl REALLY REALLY think that they are very good...!!! oh plz....you think that you are very 'popular'??!!! and that everyone will like you and be your friend....and that others are 'BAD' and say others that they will have NO FRIENDS?! oh plz then you are WRONG! i dunno if that's the really you....!!! but seems like im HALF RIGHT?!! from what you said the other time! ok yesh....no one is perfect in this world...but you know what?!! you do have your POSITIVE pts but seems like you are far from your positive pts too!!! ok sorry..i dunno what im saying...perharps some ppl don't get it...but im REALLY VERY.......AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH now!!! oh yea...im VERY GRATEFUL to you for EVERYTHING you done for ME. if you wanna things that you gave me b4, FINE! tell me straight! and everything will be back to you! no lost! but REALLY...you should BE THE ONE who go and research your personal self! i thought i could TRUST you! but seems like i was wrong! ARGH. you say i 'brag'??!!! OH RIGHT. i do afew times....and that's my fault...ok yes i admit...me joanne lim's fault... but at that time, BRAG! i tell you that small tiny thing, and you say i BRAG huh...i dunno how you READ sth with your EYES! that's called BRAG huh...ok la!!! if let's say....e.g. i tell the everybody...oh...me and 5566 very close..we know each other very well..i got their hp no...then blablabla....(NOTE!! THIS IS AN EXAMPLE ONLY!) ok!! YES! that's BRAG! but i just tell you: he went to my friend's shop buy things...JUST LIKE THAT IS CALLED BRAG??!!! plz la....you know what's the meaning of BRAG anot??!!!! i just checked the dictionary to confirm, means BOAST! 'he went to my friend's shop buy things' this sentence is BRAG huh...GOSH...ok. sorry...i know im very what...but i really wanna say EVERYTHING out that im NOT HAPPY with..!!! oh yea right now you tell me.....JUST TODAY! by saying: oh...i went to one of the superstar's hs last wk...and i got ALL their auto...all 24 le...that took pic with them...that's why now im not interested in them liao...what the hack la plz!!!! is this called BRAG??!!!! B-R-A-G!!! BRAG! im sure AT LEAST AFEW people will agree with me!!! maybe not all...anyway, most of the time, when i ask you questions, you will try not to reply me...whether on the phone, online or letter!!! ok....my superstar finals tix....i know it's very stupid and lame to asked sth back like this...but, plz!! im stupid, im lame! i wanna it back!!! ask from you so long le!! until today, NO REPLY!! you don't you straight tell me!!! tell me if you wanna it or either lost it!! like must like don't ans??!!!! as if you are BLIND! dunno how to READ WORDS! (sorry...not trying to say that you are blind) and also...i think i said that b4...but i feel like saying it again...you the other time say her family is not rich huh...ok fine..at first i thought you trying to say that her family may have finacial problems? oh right....if that is, ok maybe yes her family is...but you just said she is POOR bcoz she lives in HDB flat...im NOT trying to side her ok...im just stating the FACT! and also, if you told me a totally stranger that i dunno...that that person lives in HDB is poor, i will of coz not agree with you!!! are you trying to INSULT ME ALSO?!?!! INSULT MY FAMILY??!!! yes la...i know YOU ARE RICH! your mum always give you what you wanna...like that time...ya la...lucky you...family so rich...but looks like you are insulting me also ba?!!! im also living in HDB lor!!! means my family is poor also?!?!! ehhh...but honestly, really lehh...haha. in my life really lor..that's why im looking for a job and no need budden my daddy so much...!! haha. wah my god....say so much liao...hahahha. ok i shall end here about this...lolx..
btw IF i really can't make it back to mgs, i may thinking of joining wei song yin yue jiao shi...hahaha. but so scary and EX leh...lolx...and also!! KAS!! you sending in a letter to mediacorp and say you wanna act shows right, HEY! if you really got lobang and really got a role to act, and need a care-li-fair...OMGG i dunno how spell la!!! lolx...but i only know the word...so anyhow use to break up like that...lolx...haiz...
btw, do you ppl think going to a normal stream for me is better?!?! hahaha. so that will not be so stress? i wonder how mg gals can ta han..lolx..i keep thinking of mgs friends these few days...i really dunno....dunn how to say...it will be so cool if i can now just jump down the building...and THE END. but my parents.....when i think of my parents....I CAN'T!! i know how much love my mum gave me and things that my mum won't really able to afford but she tries? i have to be honest. my mum concern more about me than my dad lor!! my mum....i can see she 100% or more than that, loves me....maybe in my dad's heart, that's the same too! but....to me...no...my dad doesn't understand my feelings...while my mum can read my mind...everytime....but my dad doesn't know the hardship that my mum gone through....and recently, my grandparents...i know...my mum surely cried b4...and i saw that...and she did say...she said many times: i may collapse anytime....ok...i don't wanna say more of this liao...and im really crying now...and if my dad wasn't this type that like..... i still rmb few yrs back, when my mum was so angry with my dad, she just shot off straight by telling my dad that if he continues like this, she would divorce...wah sia...recently only 2 to 3 months back i think...also happened...and whenever my dad hear this, he will like just shut up and keep quiet...but i will never forget how my dad beat my mum the other time...it wasn't that really abusing...but just a very hard beat on her shoulder...i could hear the sound men! OUCH. and somemore shouted at her just for that STUPID tiny thing! i really don't understand my dad also sometimese..... anyway,lucky wasn't her face...if not ah...confirm die liao...no hope for my daddy..hahaha!!! omg. i still can 'haha' lor...sign..my dad don't even know when my exams starts and when it ends, dunno anything la...!!! i still rmb ok...on my b'day that day...he...when i straight away wake up, my mum so GOOD! immediately gave me a hangbao and wish my b'day...what about my dad??!! i think he totally forgot about my b'day at first...morning when he fetch me to sch, not a single HAPPY B'DAY word lor! until guess when??!!! 6pm in the car when going to buy cake, i somemore had to tell him say that you nv even wished me happy b'day and ONLY AT THAT SPOT! he said: happy b'day...that's all...ok la...not say i xiao qi lor...but if he was my friend, ok im fine with it...but hello!! he's my father la!! so i will always like to tell him: you are not really fit to be my father...not say i hate him...but haiz...there are still ALOT OF STORIES at the back lor...i even cried b4 i still rmb...about 2yrs back...when sth happened...but at least im luckier than some ppl le ba...so i should say that im quite lucky too? but ehh...so weird!! i dunno why im telling and saying all this OUT??!! HAIZ. this are really my trouble...there are more....but no i shall not say....i really did cry in my room b4...and did not tell my parents...haiz....now i need to talk to someone....sign.... i just hoped that my dad can understand my mum's feelings...
my feelings now...vexed, fan, scared, fear, sad....
oh yea...i just watched tong hua mv...and i cried...i dunno cry for what....i think through my friendship family life....ESP friendship and FAMILY PROB....i nv thought of my studies now....i think family probs.....haiz.....i really cried....really...just playing of the song at about the 30sec, i cried...last time i don't take my mum's word seriously at all...but now i seems like...and i have to...SIGN...i really dunno why i will talk about family prob today...is like i got a feeling sth will happen concerning my grandparents there....and sometimes im unhappy also! why must it be so unfair to my mum huh....if she wasn't my ______ i very early willl $^$#@&* what le lor... THIS WORLD IS SO UNFAIR!!!! I TOTALLY HATE IT!!! ending with mixed feelings....sad......unhappy....angry....many many....byebye.
`___guardian angel___i love CHIPS and POOH!
10:32 PM
